How to enter a room and finish a deal?



So, we're assuming you're on time and you know why you're there and you know exactly what you want from the people in the room and you've Googled them and found out where they went to school and that according to LinkedIn they made a couple of questionable professional moves in the early '90s and at least two of them tweet. What we're interested in is that pregnant series of moments that lasts for around a minute and is ostensibly about introductions and handshakes and the offering of beverages and, if you're lucky, a Danish or something, but is really about the beginning of potentially important relationships.

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    The main problem with entering an unfamiliar meeting room is that it's like leaving a bar when it's still light outside. Things seem a little too bright, a little overwhelming, a little disconcerting. Yet no matter how thrown off you feel, the guiding principle is: It's your room. For the next, oh, 30 seconds to a minute, you're in charge. Even if it's their room, you're in charge. Even if your earnings are a 10th of the salary of that guy you're about to shake hands with, you're in charge. You're not the only one determining the mood of the room, but you have to take responsibility for it.
    Consider a lesson from the forest. "Pretend everyone's a bear in the woods," says Robbie Pickard, a Santa Monica, Calif.-based comedian who spends his career entering rooms full of people he needs to impress. "If you look scared, the bear is going to attack you." Which we always thought involved yelling and waving your arms and stomping the earth and throwing a Coleman lantern. But what he's saying is, offer no apologies or expressions of trepidation or false humility. Protect yourself with confidence. Confidence makes you look comfortable.
    It should seem like there's no other place in the world you'd rather be.
    At this moment, more than any other moment in the meeting, you're your own agent. You're saying, "I'd like you to meet myself." (Note: Do not under any circumstances actually say, "I'd like you to meet myself.")

    Key Technical Matters
    1. WHEN people introduce themselves, say their names back to them or take a mental note. But try to keep their names in your head. Saying a person's name back to them 20 or 30 minutes after you've met them suggests graciousness and respect, and it will endear you to them.

    2. DO NOT give out business cards before the meeting begins. Because it makes you look like a blackjack dealer.

    3. LOOK everyone in the eye for, like, a millisecond longer than is comfortable.

    4. Don't carry yourself in a way that could be described as "jaunty."

    5. IF there are fewer than six other people in the room, shake everyone's hand. If there are six or more, shake approximately five hands, and then nod amiably to the rest. The shaking of hands can get out of hand.

    6. At no time say, "Let's do this!"

    7. NO fist bumps.

    8. DON'T talk about anything that isn't pleasant, such as how much traffic you were just in or how hot it is or how you have a cold.
     

    Bill Clinton is a useful example. The man knows how to enter a room. He might not know how to leave, but he knows how to enter. Two out of the two former press secretaries we called for help with this column (we figured they might know something about the subject of entering meetings, since they've seen people enter the most important rooms in the world) mentioned Clinton as the best room-enterer they've ever seen. Which is pretty easy to do when you're the president of the United States, but still, there are lessons in his approach.
    "When Bill Clinton entered a room, he owned the room from the second he walked in," says Dee Dee Myers, Clinton's first press secretary and now a managing director at The Glover Park Group, a D.C. communications firm. "Because he was curious, he wanted to talk to people and would totally engage them. And pretty soon all the energy in the room was running in one direction."
    Marlin Fitzwater, press secretary for Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush, says, "Bill Clinton was probably the best I've ever seen. He walked in and demanded the attention of everyone. The lessons of Clinton are: Don't be aimless, don't be casual, don't be flippant. Let your audience know they're important and that you're there because you have a message to give them."
    So, it's an act, yes. But it's not entirely an act. The act is supported by an important psychological underpinning: actual curiosity. "You have to be curious," says Thomas Huseby, managing partner at Seattle VC firm SeaPoint Ventures. "Most entrepreneurs are thinking about what they want to teach or what they want to convey, and everybody would much rather talk to someone who is curious. It's amazing what that attitude does."
    That's how to enter a room. With curiosity. But not necessarily about the business at hand. Meetings at Esquire often start off with questions about the view from our conference room on the 21st floor of the Hearst Corporation tower in Midtown Manhattan. If the person we're meeting with asks anything at all about the city, we take them over to the window and give them a quick tour: the Empire State Building, the exact location in the Hudson where Captain Sully landed the plane, that statue of Ronald McDonald that somehow ended up on the roof of a four-floor walk-up on Eighth Avenue, how New Jersey looks vaguely bucolic if you squint. It's a rich, interesting conversation.
    Who wouldn't want to be in a room with you now? You're amiable and confident and pleased with the way things are going. You're ready to talk and to listen. You haven't given them any reason why they couldn't see themselves giving you a lot of money or offering you a contract or partnering with you in some way. You're someone they could see themselves doing business with, is what we're trying to say.
    All that, and you haven't even sat down yet. 

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    How to build your business network?



    As an entrepreneur, one of your primary goals is to continue to fill your pipeline with new business. One of the most cost-effective ways to do this--particularly for a smaller business--is through networking. Before you can begin to be an effective networker, it's important to identify some of the strengths and skill sets that you bring to the table as a business professional.

    • Are you a people person?
    • Do you enjoy public speaking?
    • What kind of professional background did you have before starting your business?
    • How long have you lived in the area where you do business?
    • What other natural skills do you have (such as time management, organizational skills or keeping clients focused) that may not fall directly into your business expertise but are valued by people?
    One of the biggest roadblocks to networking is the fear that being more of an introvert impedes any successful attempts at networking. In fact, it's a question I get quite frequently: "How do I network if I'm not a naturally outgoing person?"

    Go ahead and breathe a sigh of relief, you don't have to become Mr. Man-About-Town, to be a successful networker. Most business people, over time, naturally develop a certain level of comfort from dealings with customers, vendors and others in their day-to-day transactions. So even people who aren't gregarious or outgoing can form meaningful relationships and communicate with a little practice.

    Become the host
    Over years of teaching people the art of networking we've found many techniques that can make the process markedly easier--especially for those who consider themselves a bit introverted. For example, volunteering to be an ambassador or visitor host for a local business networking event can be a great way to get involved without leaving your comfort-zone
    .

    If you're wondering how being a host can help your introversion just think about it. When you have guests at your house or office, what do you do? You engage them, make them feel comfortable; perhaps offer them something to drink. What you don't do is stand by yourself in the corner thinking about how much you hate meeting new people.
    By serving as a visitor host at your local chamber event, you effectively become the host of the party. Try it! You'll find it much easier to meet and talk to new people.
    Build your social capital at your desk
    If it's taking you a bit longer to get used to face-to-face networking, remember that thanks to technology's continuing advances, you can also network without ever leaving your desk--online networking is a very effective way to connect with potential clients and referral sources.

    Computer technology and the growth of the internet has made it easier than ever before to connect with large numbers of people. Online networking gives you broad reach with low cost and effort.
    What online networking doesn't do, however, is provide a forum where relationships can deepen. The nature of the medium strips away essential communication cues such as facial expression, tone of voice, and body language. That is why emoticons were invented--to help convey whether one is happy :D, unhappy :(, or joking around ;).
    Online networking has an etiquette all its own which some would deem rude. Communications are blunter and less polite, and this often comes across as aggressiveness. It's easy to get "flamed" online-- encounter open hostility that is. In person, social norms still dictate more restraint.
    It's usually better to use online networking with people only after you've established a relationship with them by traditional means. To develop trust, respect and true friendship, it's hard to beat in-person conversation and the occasional handshake or pat on the shoulder.
    Offer advice to break the ice
    So, we're back to the challenge of doing some face-to-face networking and you haven't had much practice at it, or you're not sure how to break the ice. You might want to start by offering some free professional advice.


    Let's say you're a real estate agent talking with someone at a networking event who, although not ready to buy a home today, is heading in that direction. You could say something like this:
    Well, I know you're not interested in buying a home right now. But when you're ready to start looking, I'd highly recommend checking out the north part of town. A lot of my clients are seeing their homes appreciate in the 10 to 20 percent range, and from what I understand, the city is thinking about building another middle school in that area.
    See how it's possible to offer some value-added advice without coming across too sales-y? A statement like this acknowledges that you aren't trying to push them, while still demonstrating your expertise. He will probably remember the conversation when he's ready to act.
    This model works for just about anyone in a service-based industry in which knowledge is the main product. If you're a marketing consultant, give your prospects a couple of ideas on how they can increase the exposure of their business. Don't go overboard; maybe share a technique you read in a magazine or tried with one of your clients.
    This technique open up a good conversation with the person while you're networking and, if you play your cards right, who do you think they'll go to when they're in need of your kind of service? When it comes to building rapport and trust, few things do it better than solid, helpful information provided out of a genuine concern for the other person.
    Become a trusted source for quality referrals and contacts
    Another way to ease into networking is to provide a referral or contact. This could be a direct referral (someone you know who's in the market for another person's services) or a solid contact (someone who might be helpful down the road).

    Let's say you're networking, and you run into a person who owns a printing shop. You talk for a while, you hit it off, and even though you don't know of anyone who's looking for this person's selection of print services right now, you'd like to help him out. So you say:
    Jim, I don't know of anyone who's actively in the market for printing services right now, but I do have someone who I think could be a big help to your business. Her name is Jane Smith, and she's a marketing consultant. I know a lot of her clients need business cards, flyers and things like that printed, and while I don't know if she has a deal on the table right now, I think you both would really hit it off if you got together.
    You see how easy that was? You stated right up front you don't know what will come of the contact. But you then followed up by saying you do think this person could help and briefly described how. Chances are this will sound like a good idea to your new contact.

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